The unborn child. To abort or not to abort

This summer, an update to the ruling of Roe vs Wade was enacted in the United States, restricting a woman's right to choose to abort or kill her baby, the language being used to abort or kill depending on your perspective. Since the original decision almost 50 years ago, advocates from the anti-abortion or pro life movement have been trying to overturn that verdict, and this year they have finally succeeded.

As a father who is fascinated by the narrative around life, death and freedom of choice around one's body, I felt I needed to weigh in on this conversation, as this ruling touches on the deepest aspects both physically, spiritually and emotionally, of what it means to be human. At the very least I wanted to catalyse more compassion around this debate, as all perspectives do care about human life. The main difference being whose life is cared about more.

So where to begin? Ah the first question…when did life begin for humans on this earth and what is the point of us being here in the first place? This question has been debated for as long as we have been talking with each other.

Now the first humans that were here would not have known they were the first, and they certainly did not write down their existence or the meaning of life in a nice neat handbook for us modern humans to debate about. The process from grunts for communication to complex language was a long one. One can imagine as time went on, that religions were developed to attempt to answer these deeper mysterious questions, with the answers being widely different depending on who and where the tribe or community was located. Yet as a collection of people across planet earth, a TRUE answer never became clear on where, how, why or when we landed or appeared on this cosmic rock we call home. In more recent times science has attempted to answer the conundrum with limited success, with their theory that we appeared sometime after what they called the Big Bang. When that happend, is anyone’s guess.

Now as to when my life or your’s began, that is clear.

On a magical day a long time ago our fathers sperm penetrated our mothers egg and the first evidence of our humanness was seen and our journey began. Now I have to say, I am happy that my mother chose to birth me into this world, as I have gotten the pleasure of having many wonderful experiences, along with some sad ones but overall it has been amazing.

Yet the debate around why a mother chooses to terminate or kill the human within her, has many layers that have made resolving this debate, if possible, very difficult.

Due to the ruling this year, discussion is back in the headlines with the various stances rising to the surface through media outlets, social platforms, individuals and organisations, not only in the United States, but around the world.

The following is my perspective into the various stances around the issue:

The first section “The views out there”, are the points on what people consider life and when, if ever, it is ok to abort a child.

The second section is “My viewpoint” where I attempt to share a position of finding a compromise or at least generate more compassion between the stances around this issue.

The views out there

If the baby is not viable, meaning that it would not survive if it was birthed, then aborting the pregnancy is acceptable. The consensus with most medical professionals on viability is that the baby must be in the mother’s womb for at least 22 weeks to have any chance of living outside of her body. Thus terminating anytime before 22 weeks would not change the outcome of death for the baby and thus making it acceptable to abort.

Yet from another view, if the heartbeat can be detected in the baby, which occurs around 6 or 7 weeks after gestation, then it is alive. Aborting at this time or anytime after that, would not be morally acceptable and should be denied, with many calling it murder.

Now others, like myself, would even argue from a strictly biological view, that life begins when the sperm penetrates the egg and produces a zygote. People who adhere to this perspective would say the difference between the adult stage of a human and the zygotic stage is not one of personhood, but of development. So although the baby or fetus is tiny and cannot be seen with the human eye, has no heartbeat and would die outside the womb, it is still life and should be protected, as this is the first stage we all go through in becoming a human.

Likewise others say it is a tiny cell that cannot be seen with the human eye, it will not survive outside the mothers womb, it is not a baby or fetus yet, and it has no heartbeat. Thus the woman aborting through medications or other means for whatever her personal reasons might be, is acceptable.

Now even among all the above perspectives there are nuanced narratives, as many people are against abortion in principle, but with exceptions. This could include pregnancy from rape, if the baby will be severely disabled, if the mother is a drug addict and carrying the baby to term would be compromising the health of the child, if the pregnancy came from incest or other reasons where the mother or child would suffer emotionally and/or physically by going through the pregnancy, would all be justifications for aborting the baby.

At present, these opposing opinions cannot seem to be resolved, no matter how loud people shout at each other. Yet how does a society move forward when one group is angry at the mother for killing her baby, while the other group is angry at politicians taking the right away from pregnant women to choose what they decide to do and have in their body.

My viewpoint

1. Everything around us is life. The soil, the air, the plants, the animals, the water, the minerals, the vitamins, the humans and all the resources contained in the physical earth. All is life and is alive and will die.

The zygote is life. Yes, it is not a baby, nor even a fetus, but it is the seed that if nurtured will grow into a full grown adult, like you and me. All life has been created or born into this earth, existing for some time and then dying. This is the path all life forms must take.

When our body dies physically, the fleshy material will break down into the earth and be transformed into something else and continue on. For example, resources we use now, such as oil to power our modern civilization, comes from the physical bodies of our dead ancestors. So when we give thanks to our relatives for the life we have today, it is not just for their wisdom, but for their fleshy bodies as well.

So let's accept, however emotional and sad it can be, that all is life and all must die, including the human life in the mothers womb, whether this life ends before it is birthed or 100 or so years after being born.

2. Women choose to kill or abort their babies or fetuses for personal reasons and these reasons do matter.

I have never gone through a pregnancy, but having witnessed my wife carrying a growing baby for 9 months and then giving birth to it, was a powerful experience for her and certainly not an easy one. The fact that a woman chooses not to go through with this, for whatever her reason, needs to be validated.

Why did she make this choice? Was she raped; was it incest; does she feel she cannot afford to bring up the child based on her economic situation; has the father of the baby stated that he does not want to parent the child; does the mother have strong career ambitions and having a child will make it too challenging or not possible to achieve it; is the mother still a teenager that has not even finished high school and feels the child will inhibit her studies; does the mother have a comprised health situation that going through the pregnancy may jeopardize her life?

I am sure you could add to this list, but there are many reasons for why the mother decides to abort her child. She is not a bad person that needs to be demonized for the difficult choice she has to make around the unborn human life in her body. This human that if she gives birth to, will primarily become her responsibility for guiding into adulthood. These thoughts weigh heavily on why she makes the decision to not carry through with the pregnancy.

3. “My body, my choice”. This statement has been used throughout the vaccine debate and is now being used in the abortion discussion. The rights of our bodies is something we should not take for granted or as a given. Historically people of various backgrounds have not had the right of their bodies upheld, such as racialized people who experienced slavery. Women in societies who were treated as second class citizens and whose bodies were the property of their husbands. People involved in war, where their bodies were tortured and abused. Women who have experienced genital mutilation. Children and adults who have been raped. Children who have been beaten by their parents. These are some of the many examples where a human's bodily right and sovereignty was violated by someone else.

So is there a violation happening when a pregnant woman is told she must go through with a pregnancy and give birth to her child? Or is there a violation occurring to the fetus or baby when the mother intentionally removes the life support system of her womb, from the growing human?

There is ultimately no right answer to these questions, though one should take pause and at least see the sacredness in both the mother and the unborn child.

*****

Final Thoughts(for now)

As I stated at the beginning of this essay, my reason for writing, at worst case, was to elicit more compassion from everyone no matter what side of the debate you stand on. As I said at the beginning whatever position you hold, caring about the sanctity of all life should be your main focus.

For instance, the anti-abortion stance is admirable in that they care abut the unborn child in the womb of a total stranger. They have lobbied relentlessly over the years to protect this innocent tiny human and believe that the creator of this world gave all animals this biological instrument(the body) to procreate and keep life perpetuating for infinity. Why would any of us make the choice to opt out of this natural and powerful process?

Likewise, the pro choice stance recognizes and cares for the mother, this stranger they have never met. This person who will be responsible for carrying the baby for 9 months, along with supporting this child into adulthood. Let's not forget that this mother who many feel should have limits placed upon her choice to abort and be looked down upon if she terminates her pregnancy, was once an unborn baby too.

So how do we take this mutual caring for life on both sides of the discussion and find a middle way?

At present our modern civilization has many challenges occurring. This includes ecological catastrophes, economic uncertainty, the problems of extreme financial wealth and extreme poverty, stresses on our food systems, and meaningful work that stirs the human soul, along with coming out of a global pandemic. Not to forget the millions of guns, fighter planes and bombs which kill adults and children we care about, every year.

It is understandable why people take action to protect the biological miracle of birth. It is also understandable why a mother and father may choose not to bring a new human into this world, with the monumental challenges before them.

As stated, for a woman to choose to terminate her pregnancy, takes a lot of deliberation and is not a decision that is taken lightly.

Yet what would the world have to look and be like, for more women to choose to bring their unborn into this world and decrease their desire to want an abortion in the first place?

From my vantage point, the world would have to integrate the following into society:

1 year maternity or paternity leave.

Food credits for nutritious food for children till 18 years of age.

Free medical care and health and wellness education on how to stay healthy for one’s entire life.

Age appropriated sex education, so when this unborn child becomes a teenager, then adult, they will have the tools to avoid pregnancy unless it is desired and she is prepared to raise the child.

Free condom and birth control for those teenagers that want to engage in sex.

More equitable economic system where it is recognized that all financial wealth comes from the commons/mother earth. Thus higher taxation on higher income earners to inhibit the extremes of wealth and poverty and thus make it easier to bring a new human into our civilization that has a greater opportunity to thrive.

Recognizing that every human on the planet was once a seed/one cell in his/her mothers womb and thus should be honoured and respected, regardless of their behaviours.

In a perfect world every woman would get pregnant with a loving partner, with both having a strong commitment to bring this child/children into the world and guide them into adulthood, along with relatives and friends close by.

A society where everyone has the awareness that we are interdependent and need each other for support, in living the best life possible.

A society where there are no armies, navy’s or air forces in any country because everyone has unconditional love for their fellow human(very idealistic I admit, but would be amazing nonetheless).

Where handguns would not be needed because we would not fear our fellow humans.

Where people respected each other's bodies and violating another would not be morally accepted or even desired.

Where humans value relationships over having excessive material wealth which puts burdens on the planet's shared resources and thus our relationships with each other.

Where people feel supported and feel like they are doing meaningful work that fulfils them and supports not only their family but their community.

Where children and adults wake up everyday in a world where they feel safe and secure.

With the above conditions in place, the need or want for an abortion would be eliminated or greatly diminished. Bringing a child into this world would be celebrated, desired and supported by all.

Since this is not the world that we live in at present, I feel that an individual or group cannot in good conscience tell a woman that she must bring a baby into our present world.

I personally would love for all women to feel the sacredness of human life that has been enmeshed in her body. As a father I made that choice along with my wife to bring a child into this world and am grateful for the opportunity of seeing him grow up in this world, even with all the perils before us. But it was our choice.

However, in regards to the mother/human choosing not to give birth to her unborn child , I hope the baby will understand that mom gets the final say on this one.